Death of a Mother

A couple of days ago, the mother of one of the players on my husband’s baseball team passed away. My husband, of course, went to the wake that night. He told Jio and Lilia where he was going. He was dressed in a suit and they wondered. I have always been reluctant to bring up death with Jio, especially, because he is so sensitive. When he was younger, I skipped over Babar’s mother’s death while reading the book, and phrases such as “dead tired” because he became so alarmed at hearing them. He started asking me questions about the baseball player’s mother’s death. I remember being that age, and being terrified of my own mother dying, and how promises of heaven or talk of the cycle of nature didn’t help at all. I told Jio that I would do my best to stay healthy. Recently, I have been walking almost every day and I’m trying to eat better. And, because death is a part of life whether we like it or not, I’ve stopped skipping passages about death in books when I read aloud.

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4 thoughts on “Death of a Mother

  1. We just got a sad call tonight through the renrakumo that the twin of one of my son’s classmates had died. The o-tsuya is on Sunday; I’ll go but am uncertain whether to take my son or not. Couldn’t really figure out what to do so just decided to leave it up to him and he said he wants to go so I guess I’ll take him. The whole thing is just so sad.

  2. It is so sad. I think I wrote on a comment on your blog once that one of the boys in my son’s class has mild cerebral palsy (or a similar disability) and how his twin was affected more (couldn’t walk, etc.) and so was in a school for the handicapped. I don’t know his mother well, but, by coincidence, I started reading your blog just after finding that out and really appreciated the insight in your posts about what it means to be in a somewhat similar situation. For some reason I think the boys were also born early, like your twins, but I don’t know if I’m just imagining that or not. Anyway the twin inadvertently pulled out his own breathing tube one night not too long ago, resulting in a lack of oxygen to his brain, and now he has died. Don’t really know why I’m writing this, but I guess it’s to say we all need to give our kids an extra big hug and rejoice in our fortune of having them here to hug us back, at least for today.

  3. It’s likely they were born premature. Twins often are. For a long time, I wasn’t sure if Lilia would make it to her fourth birthday. It seemed so hard to keep her alive. I’m sure that boy’s mother valued every day of her son’s life and understood how fragile it was.

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